Before the pandemic, I could hide my anxiety…
I am a junior in high school, a poet, an empathic personality and I suffer from depression and anxiety. I am like every other young adult. I want to travel. I want to have a family. I just want to do a lot of stuff. I don’t like the idea of failing and not being able to do a lot of the things I told myself I want to do after high school and college.
I love the quote ‘Life is a beautiful struggle.’ Whoever came up with that is a genius.
It is hard to focus at home. A lot of my anxiety comes from my home life, so if I am trying to focus in the same environment that I’m suffering in: that’s hard. But I just talk myself into it — like, come on, you got this, let’s just do it. I think I am pretty smart. I think I am pretty streetwise.
I feel what other people are feeling and identify with their emotions. It can be overwhelming.
I’m a good communicator and I’m easy to talk to, so I think that draws people to me. I understand people’s lives and can relate to whatever they’re talking about. It makes me a better person to listen to people, but I am also grateful that I have a few people who will show up for me and listen to me. I am part of a program called Creative Justice, and it is kind of like my outlet, because I can focus on my creative writing and poetry and hang out with my friends — obviously not too many, because of COVID, but it helps.
In this last year, I’ve watched people die. Nine friends.
Being a black male as a doctor is so rare. It’s so, so rare.